You Didn't Even Notice

Seems you didnt even notice
the pain in my text
the reasons id ask to see you
but simply moved on to the next
conversation at hand
denied my demand
for your attention
did i forget to mention
i text again
as a friend
didnt you care to know my pain
see if id be ok driving at night in the rain
were you that busy could you have been that focused?
that you didnt even notice?

Seems you didnt even notcie
that i came home just for you
to make sure all was cool
and ensure joy cometh soon
but by the counter 12 of noon
with simple hello and goodbye
my heart broke as yours left the room
sad to say but on that day i was tired
drove hours and miles
and thought it to be worth while
until then
but sucked it up and pressed on
next day i smiled
hid my hurting to see you happy
but you didnt even notice

SO IM BITTER YES I AM
AND I HAVE RIGHT
NOT TO GIVE A DAMN
BUT ....I DO

So what do i do?
when all i want
is all i cant get
and idk if you fail to show it
or simply forget

that i NEED to be NOTICED

Once A Cheater Pt 1

The beginning was rocky
Waves and currents

Washing our love out of sight

And for a night

You gave yourself away

Held it in for more then a day

More like a 5 months

Sin of silence

Lies in every kiss since

Betrayal in every I Love You

What do i do

Thoughts that travel endlessly across my mind

I pretend im fine

But im not

Blood hot

And boiling

Only to be reminded

When circumstance rearises

With a different her

But the same you

And i wonder what to do

So i play it cool'only to be the fool

AGAIN

how can i trust a lover

When i cant trust a "Friend" is just your "Friend"

Would say she is after you

But it was you who let her in

Heart still longers for you

But should i follow my gut?

Once a cheater

Then WHAT?

Im Scared

Scared ill grow so angry i will forget you
Scared when the darkness comes i wont remember you
Scared cuz when hurt visits i neglect you
Scared cuz sometimes i work too hard for you
Scared cuz sometimes i feel you don't want me how i want you
Scared that im losing you
Scared cuz im not sure if i even have you
Scared to say your name out loud
Scared cuz i feel at times im to proud

LOVE... you scare me

What Is a Woman PT1

What is a Woman?
Hips...Ass...Tits...Thighs
longing for the answer
Longing to be wise

What is a Woman?
I have seen some beings walking in her image
But they were lost and confused like I
Revealing so much of self in search of finding self
Losing self in lack of self love
Drowning in the longing of acceptance and love
so i try to love her
but she always rejects... why does she refuse?
and accept to be used and abused
by him and him and him...and her
self!

What is a Woman?
I have seen some trying to live her life
longing to be a mother
forgetting the beauty of being a wife
or apart of another life
settling for the physical i love you's
instead of the spiritual i long you
settling for shorty
instead of standing tall
settling for being number one of many
instead of someones one and only
everything their all

What is a Woman?
Hips...Ass...Tits...Thighs
longing for the answer
Longing to be wise

Missing The Pain

She hurt me...Cut me deep
Sharp kisses form lips that spit words so blade like
Pierced my skin with lies
Entered me with Anarchy
Penetrating me over and over again
with fear and sorrow
Soft
as Soft as death could be she left me
and I became numb
So YES now and again I miss her Pain
Cuz at least it reminded me I could feel.

Just like him

Today i view the world through her eyes
sadness hits me as i imagine the endless tears she cries
with out me
not even a mile away
maybe she doubts me
that i can be there for her in that way
that she so desperately needs

i cant change him
cant make him see the beauty that i see
cant make him appreciate it like i do
cant show him how to love her

hold her

insure her it will be ok
cuz it seems i too can not do such

lost...between who i thought i was for her

and who i actually am

fear im just like him